


Discovery at the Warm Dew Bathhouse

by Bite_Coalhoof



Series: Critical Smut [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, F/M, Non-Consensual Touching, Nudity, Touching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2019-04-01 02:49:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13988886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bite_Coalhoof/pseuds/Bite_Coalhoof
Summary: During Episode 9x04 -Disparate Pieces: Nott and Caleb visit the Trostenwald's Warm Dew Bathhouse disguised as a wealthy man wearing the vomit of a vagrant and his daughter respectively. They easily pass the scrutiny of the upper class staff and take residence in a room with adjoining baths for two hours. Caleb intends to study his books as he soaks, but Nott's boredom will not allow Caleb to read in peace.





	Discovery at the Warm Dew Bathhouse

Nott was bored.

There was nothing do and she certainly wasn't about to take a... _yeeeech_.... bath... More importantly there was nothing left to steal! Anything of shining brilliance was now in her possession regardless of monetary value. With nothing to do she hang her head dejectedly near the puddle of water and remaining cucumber slices.

It is time to go. 

Nott collected the few leftover cucumbers and neared the edge of the privacy screen that separated the two halves of the room. "Caaaaleb," her voice cracking slightly as it did when she hadn't spoken in some time, "are you... uh-hum... decent for me to visit?" Her inquiry was met with silence which was not entirely unexpected. Caleb had a way of zoning out when concentrating and she was more than used to his behavior. She peeked around the screen but the height of the tub was tall enough to just meet her goblin eye level. Nott could only make out the top of his head.

"I have snacks!"

Once again, there was no reply.

She approached the bath with caution and found him asleep. His book perched upon a bath table precariously close to falling in the water. Steam from the warm bath rose into the pages of the book. The binding swelled and some ink began to blur. Not wishing to wake him or allow further damage to his book she drew her short sword from concealment and used it to carefully nudge the book back on the table. Satisfied with her work Nott returned her sword and completely missed. The sword clattered along the hardened floor making a great noise sure to disturb Caleb. Miraculously his only reaction was a sniffle. She let the sword remain for the time being.

Nott noodled her arms about in dull frustration. She looked to the ceiling and elsewhere on Caleb's side of the room for anything left to steal but it seemed to lack similar adornments that her side formerly enjoyed. As a last resort to entertain herself she began flinging cucumber slices into the bath. They splashed and skipped except for one which hovered a moment before slowly falling in. Nott was curious of what arcane magics would cause a hovering vegetable. She grabbed a small footstool to better view the tub. Laying before her was an interesting sight. Caleb was still disguised as a wealthy man laying in the tub fully clothed with steam and dirty water marginally obscuring the view. As she leaned over the smell of a rather unappetizing soup permeated her nostrils. "Maybe he did need a bath..." she thought, bringing her fingers near the water. She didn't care to get wet but was hoping to find this produce force field of sorts. She felt no resistance and frowned somewhat. "Maybe I'm not doing it right..." 

Nott considered her actions while listening to the ambient noise of movement from the house, water trickling and steam letting softly. She flattened her hands and waved them over Caleb's silent like a witch with her brew. Just before giving up the right side of her hand lightly brushed something. She let out a soft "Eek" and withdrew her hands and clutched her bandages. Still curious - she returned to her search with more caution. Again her hand brushed the invisible force low to the water. The unseen object was soft yet firm and somewhat mobile as she could gently push before it returned to its original position. "What a weird thing," she thought. She withdrew her hands wondering what magic Caleb was in the midst of before falling asleep.

Nott stepped down from the stool and retrieved her sword. She sheathed it carefully this time looking as she did so. As the hilt fell into place a moment of clarity fell upon her. "Oh, it's probably that alarm thing he loves to do so much." With a mischievously crooked smile she ascended the stool once again. She placed her hands in position and braved the water to give it a good tug. As she did her delicate fingers felt an unusual sensation. The force was sturdier than expected and had a distinct quality. It was warm even compared to the bathwater and as she withdrew her hand she felt a soft side which her nails gently dragged along. Her eyes widened with panic. "Oh gods," she quivered, "it's... man meat!" Nott realized she had just forcefully tugged on Caleb's morning glory. She stumbled from the stool kicking it across the room and fell on her back. Caleb awakened from his trance and immediately noticed Nott's wide-eyed panic as she sat awkwardly on the floor. Not one for modesty he immediately started to exit the tub.

Nott scrambled backwards on all fours and exclaimed "No! No! No! No! No!"

"Shhhhhhht! Vill you be quiet? Vhat ist eh matter vith you?" Caleb hastily whispered placing one foot out of the tub.

"I didn't, I-I-I-I dropped my sword!" asserted Nott, motioning with her wild eyes to where her sword fell before.

Caleb was too preoccupied to follow her gaze and instead brought his other foot to the cold floor. He stretched and in doing so felt a familiar throb near his loins. Ever so slightly embarrassed he turned before remembering his magic disguise which hid his nethers. He paused then began to dress. "Et ist time to go."

"I'll say!" blurted Nott. She turned away hastily fastening her mask.

He looked over his shoulder raising an eyebrow then shook his head and returned to locking his belt.

**Author's Note:**

> I separated this from my previous Nott/Caleb piece because I felt it didn't really fit and I am restructuring my stories a bit. Nott clarifies to the party in Episode 123 that she is 'of childbearing age' as such she is an adult goblin. For more stories check out my [Critical Smut](https://archiveofourown.org/series/963588) series.


End file.
